Kissing It Better
by LovinoRomaVargas
Summary: Everyone Loved Feliciano Vargas, Including Grandpa Rome. No one would ever care for Lovino Vargas... at least that's what he thought...
1. Chapter 1

I Pushed the Blade down more, the sticky red liquid running down my arm.

_No one cared for me right?_  
_Everyone loved Feliciano better right?_

I don't want to die. I don't want to live.

I pulled down my sleeve as I heard a crash, I ran downstairs.  
Feliciano was picking up pieces of broken glass off the floor.

Broken glass from Grandpa Rome's Favorite Vase.

"Ah! Fratello can you pick this up for me...I don't want to be late for School."  
"I don't see why I should clean up the mess you made."  
"Fratello please Luddy's waiting for me." He gave his best puppy dog eyes.  
"Fine."  
"Grazie Fratello!"

Feliciano Headed out the door to school while I started to pick up pieces.

* * *

I felt a hand wrap itself in my hair and my head was bashed against the wall.

My stomach was kicked. I Screamed, A hand wrapped around my throat.  
"Who broke my vase?" The voice was harsh, it sent a shiver up my spine.

_No matter how many times this happens...I'll never get used to it._

The fingers tightened their hold on my neck, I managed to speak,

"Feliciano."  
"Blaming this on my little angel...Feli wouldn't be this clumsy."

Another punch to the stomach, and I fell to the ground.

"Clean it up."

I choked back tears, and finished cleaning the broken glass.  
I grabbed my bag and ran out the door.

* * *

I got to school right before the bell rang. Putting my stuff in my locker I headed to my first class, Math. I sat in my usual seat by the window, away from everybody. I didn't have any friends, Friends were a waste of time, I kept to myself.

I didn't pay attention at all during math but I soon got pulled out of my thoughts when French Bastard leaned on my desk.

"Bonjour Lovino, Thinking of accepting my offer...Right?"  
"Far from it Bastard."  
"Aww Lovino why wont you go on a date with me?"  
"Because your a Perverted French Bastard."  
"I think someone's playing hard to get, Oui?"

A loud smack echoed through the room. Francis held his cheek which was now red and stinging from the impact. He left and went back to his desk.

"Gilbert! Lovino rejected me again!"

"I have no idea why you insist on getting a date with him. He's a brat and so un-awesome!"

"What can I say I have a thing for hot-headed Italians."

"Why don't you try his brother Feli? He's so cute, not as cute as my Mattie but...you get the point."

"I would but he's dating your brother and Ludwig would kill me if I went near him. So his brother is next best thing."

"Hola! Francis why do you look so upset?" Antonio questioned.

"He's upset Lovino rejected him again." Gilbert told him.

Antonio wouldn't actually tell Francis this...but he was actually glad Lovino always rejected him.

"Well amigo maybe you should just give up. Why don't you try asking out that one British guy...Arthur I think his name was?"

"Oui, I'll try."

The Bell rang and everyone rushed to get out of Class.

I headed to my locker, gathering my things for the next class. I shut my locker about to head to my next class, Literature.  
"Lovi!"  
"What do you want Fucking tomato Bastard?"  
"Sit by me at lunch!"  
"No."

* * *

By lunch time I was starving seeing as I didn't eat breakfast and I didn't have time to grab food.

I sat at a table by myself. When someone threw something at me that hit me in the back of the head.

_Bastards..._

Feli was sitting at a table with that fucking potato bastard he calls his boyfriend, And This Japanese guy, I believe his name was Kiku.

_And here I am an empty table in the corner of the lunchroom. _

_No one cares about me...Its always been Feli, Grandpa Rome prefers Feli, Everyone at School prefers Feli. _

_When will I get the attention? Never. He's more attractive than me. He's smarter than me. He's more social than me._

_Doesn't anyone realize I have feeling -and ears- too? _

_That cant be Feliciano's Brother, He cant be related to that angel._

_He's so Rude, Not like Feli._

_Feli is so much nicer._

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  
"Hola Lovi! I noticed you didn't get lunch, Why?"  
"Don't got the money for it, Bastard."  
"Well here, I'll let you have one of my tomatoes."  
"Why are you so happy?"  
"Why shouldn't I be? He smiled.  
"Because there's nothing to be happy about."

I took the tomato biting into it. I ate it in a matter of seconds.

"Lovi, your so cute!"  
"Bastard im not cute!"

_Such words are saved for Fratello..._

"Si, You are!"  
"Bastard get away from me."  
"Okay Lovi..."

_...Stupid Bastard saying such things..._

The Bell rang signaling the end of the day. I walked out of the school building, heading to the Hell I called home.

* * *

**...Authors Note...**

**The page breaks (lines) signal it happened a bit later. Sorry if its short.**  
**Translations:**  
**Italian:**  
**Fratello-Brother**  
**Grazie-Thanks**

**French:**  
**Bonjour-Hello**  
**Oui-Yes**


	2. Chapter 2

I walked through the door only to see my Idiot Fratello and the stupid potato bastard making out on the couch.

_Disgusting..._

I grabbed a tomato from the fridge and headed upstairs to my room, shutting the door once I got there. I grabbed my laptop sitting down on my bed and logged on to Facebook.

_3 new messages..._  
_Kill yourself._  
_Emo._  
_Go cut yourself, Whore._

A loud clatter echoed throughout the room as my laptop hit the floor. I ran into the bathroom branched off from my room and locked the door. I turned on the shower, letting the water cascade down my body for a minute.  
And then the tears came...All the tears I held back for so long.

_Why? Why the fuck am I hated so much? Why does everyone hate me so much?_  
_Why does Nonno Rome Hate me so much? Arent you supposed to treat family equally?_  
_Am I less then Feliciano? Could He tell that just by looking at me? So what I cant grasp people as well as he does. and maybe im not as social as he is. Its not my fault! I thought I'd get used to it,but ill never get used to it. I'll never be good enough for anyone will I? Why?_

_3 messages...3 cuts...A thousand reasons..._

I got out of the shower after I had cleaned up the cuts, bandaging them up and then throwing a hoodie on.

I pulled out my Ipod putting it on shuffle.

I soon fell asleep to the sound of the music and the Singers voice in my head..

_...You may feel alone when you're falling asleep_  
_And every time tears roll down your cheeks_  
_But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet_  
_Someday you will be loved..._

* * *

"Feli go wake your Brothers lazy ass up."

_It hurt...It did, but I replaced it with a different emotion before Fratello could see...Anger._

"Lovino! Nonno says you should wake up now."

_Always trying to protect me from his harsh words...I cant Hate you. _  
_Even though I should._

"Yeah just get the Fuck out of my room, you idiot."  
"Okay Bye Fratello!"

I reached over to turn my Ipod off that had been playing all through the night. In doing this it caused one of my cuts to reopen, letting blood drip from my hand to the floor.  
I rushed to the bathroom turning the water on quickly and putting my arm under the flowing water.  
"Fuck!"  
I quickly turned the steaming hot water to cold, trying to get the bleeding to stop. After a minute or so, I turned the water off and pulled my sleeve down.

"Lovino! Get your lazy ass down here!"  
I ran downstairs to see what the bastard wanted.  
"What the Fuck do you want?"  
Slap. I fell to the floor. I prepared myself for another hit.  
"Is that how you speak to me?"  
"Actually yes it is, Bastard."

What I was doing I don't know.

Pain went through my body as I was kicked repeatedly in the stomach.  
I was yanked up by my arm, causing all my cuts to reopen. I struggled not to let a pained scream leave my throat.  
"Don't you ever speak to me like that again, got it?"  
I didn't respond.  
"I said got it?" my arm was grasped harder.  
"G-Got it."  
the moment he let go of my arm I ran out the door.

* * *

I didn't know where I was going...I didn't care. I ran for as long as I could but soon started walking. Where was I? I heard footsteps behind me. I yelped when I was pulled in to an Alleyway. My hands were held over my head.

"Bonjour Lovino, Did you miss me?" I knew that voice, Francis.  
"French Bastard! Get the Fuck off me!" I started thrashing, but soon stopped when I felt a cold blade against my throat.  
"I wont hurt you Lovino. Well as long as you give me what I want."  
"And What would that be Bastard?"  
"Why isn't that Obvious? I want you Lovino."  
"Bastard Get off Me!" I kicked him in the shin but his grip only tightened.  
"That wasn't a smart idea Lovino."

I felt him start to rip of my clothes. I bit my lip trying not to scream as he entered me. Pain went shooting through my hurt like hell, but what hurt even more,was the fact that Francis was the one doing this. I felt something dripping down my thigh, Blood.  
"S-So tight..."  
A scream ripped through my throat.  
"Don't scream Lovino. You wouldn't want to ruin our fun would you?  
"Go to Hell." I managed to choke out.  
"Oh? What do we have here?" I felt his fingers run over my cuts.  
after what seemed like forever he finished and pulled out.  
He grabbed my arm.  
"Ugly? now that wont do. How about we write something more suitable?"

I felt The blade go against my arm, It pushed into my skin as he started to write.

* * *

I Looked at my arm.

_Dirty Whore..._

I curled into a ball on my bed, thats all I was. A Dirty Whore, for a perverted Frenchman.  
Thats when realization hit me. I was Raped and it was my fault, wasn't it?

_Dirty...Dirty Whore. You let it Happen. You let him take your Virginity. Filthy...Your Filthy..._

* * *

**Authors Note:**

**Sorry if this chapters short. And the part where Francis says ugly? that wont do. Just to clear this up that is what Lovino cut into his arm one day. Also if anyone wants to know, The song used in this was: Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab For Cutie**  
**Translation: Italian:**

**Nonno-Grandpa**

**Fratello-Brother**


	3. Chapter 3

The sunlight shone in through my window, All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but you cant exactly do that when your fucking Grandfather beats you if you don't go to school and its  
7:30am on a Monday morning. I got out of bed with much trouble because every time I move pain racks my entire body. I turned on the water for the shower and pulled off my clothes, stepping into the shower. Thats when I saw it, Carved into my arm.

_Dirty Whore..._

What happened yesterday came back to me. I collapsed onto the tiled floor.

_No...No that didn't happen..It was just a nightmare...Just a nightmare._

But no matter how many times I repeated it in my head...The writing on my arm and the pain going through my entire being was proof enough...It did happen.

* * *

_Stupid School..._

I took my seat as class started, while the teacher started blabbering about some algebra crap.  
I tried to forget yesterday but my mind kept wandering back to it.

_Filthy...Filthy Whore. Its your fault, all your fault._

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, I flinched.  
"Lovi the bell rang first hour is over."  
"Oh.."  
"Lovi Is something wrong?"  
"No there is nothing wrong Idiota!"

I grabbed my things walking out of the classroom and into the crowded hallway, to my locker.  
hands wrapped around my waist, I froze immediately.

* * *

(Antonio's P.O.V.)

I knew there had to be something wrong with Lovi. He never flinches like that...maybe im just imagining things...but Lovi is also usually the first one to leave class so why didn't he leave when the bell rang? I'll make sure to talk to him again...later.  
The hallways were empty...well looks like im gonna be late for class.  
I stopped on my way to my locker when I Saw Lovi and Francis. I thought Lovi hated Francis? What were they doing together?

"Let Go French bastard."  
"Now Lovino, Thats no way to talk to your Boyfriend."

Lovino and Francis were dating...since when?

"You mean Rapist."  
"Lovino Your so harsh, I didn't hear you complaining, Mon Cher."  
"You had a fucking knife at my throat, what was I supposed to do?"

Francis...He...He Raped Lovino?

* * *

I kicked Francis in the Shin, running into a bathroom stall. I let myself Slide to the ground. I pulled out my Razor.

I don't want to Die. I don't want to Live. I don't remember a time before this. The Blood, The Pain, The Beatings...

_So Why don't you just end it?_  
_Why? Because I had hope someone would love me...How stupid does that sound?_  
_No one will ever love me...Filthy...Filthy Whore...For a Frenchman...For someone I don't love._  
_Because the person I Love will never love me._

_Unloved...it fit didn't it?_

* * *

(Antonio's P.O.V.)

"Francis, You...You raped Lovi?"  
"Ah Mon Ami...I wouldn't say Rape, I was simply spreading Mon Amour."  
I watched Francis go flying from the impact of the punch.  
"Don't go near him again, Otherwise there will be more where that came from Cabrón."  
I Ran into the bathroom.  
"Lovino!" I pounded on the stall door.

* * *

I pushed the blade down harder. I didn't hear my name being yelled. I didn't hear the stall door being opened, I was too lost in my thoughts for that. But I did feel it when arms wrapped around my waist.

"NO!" I tried to push the person away but they just held me tighter.  
"Lovi its okay. its just me."

_I knew that voice, I knew who it belonged to. I didn't want him seeing this side of me, I didn't want him to know about this side of me._

"Go Away."  
-

* * *

(Antonio's P.O.V.)

Thats when I noticed...The Cuts, and the Scars.

"Why?"

"I told you to go away."

"Why did you do this Lovi?"

"None of your fucking business."

I placed kisses over the scars...hoping maybe they'd disappear...I knew they wouldn't.

"Bastard! What the fuck do you think your doing?"  
"Kissing it Better."

* * *

I knew I was about to cry, I was going to cry in front of this Bastard.

"Why did you do this Lovi?" I heard. He was pointing to the place where that French bastard wrote.

"I Didn't." He Gave me a confused look.

"Francis did it...He didn't think what I had done suited me...He was right." The tears started to fall.

"He's not." I could've sworn I just saw anger flash in his eyes, but I could be mistaken.

"Why this one?"

_..Unloved.._

"Because its true...Everyone prefers Feliciano over me..."  
I felt him wipe tears from my eyes.

"Its not...I Love You...Te Amo"

I didn't hear that right...I didn't...Did I?

_Te Amo..._

* * *

**Authors Note!**

**Sorry if anyone is out of character...this is only my second fanfic..also im sorry if this chapter is short...there will be a chapter after this one I just Dont know when ill be posting it because I have a bit of Writers Block right now.**

**Translations-**  
**Italian: Idiota-Idiot**  
**Spanish: Cabrón- Bastard**  
**Te Amo- I Love You**  
**French: **  
**Mon Cher-My dear**  
**Mon Amour- My Love**  
**Mon Ami-My Friend**


	4. Authors Note

**OK so I know I haven't updated for a bit and that was because I have tests and all that lovely stuff. Also on top of that I have writers block. But the more reviews I get the more motivation ill have to actually think up something for the next chapter...please review...**


	5. Chapter 4

"You don't mean that"

My eyes widened as he quickly put his lips over mine.

"I do mean it Lovi…I Love You."

Before I could say anything I felt myself being lifted off the ground and carried bridal style. I thrashed around trying to get him to let go.

"Bastard! What the hell do you think your doing?!"

He laughed.

"Carrying Mi Tomate."

"Let me go! Wait…Did you just call me a fucking tomato?"

"Si!"

"Stupido…"

I was to busy trying to make him let go of me, I didn't notice that we left the school building and were now in the parking lot.

He finally let me go so he could open the car door.

"Get in Lovi!"

"And why should I?"

"Please?"

"Fine."

It was too late to go back to school anyway. The whole car ride was quiet. We pulled into the driveway of a large looking house.

"Bastard, where are we?"

"My House."

I got out of the car following him to the front door of his house.

I watched him fumble with his keys before finally finding the one to unlock the door.

"Follow me Lovi!"

Rolling my eyes, I followed him in to his house.

"Won't your parents wonder why you're not in school?"

"Nope! My Parents are at work."

I blushed lightly as he grabbed my hand leading me towards the bathroom.

"And why are we in here bastard?"

Not even answering my question. He told me to sit on the edge of the sink.

"Not until you answer my question, Bastard."

My blushing only increased when he picked me up and placed me on the edge of the sink. I crossed my arms as he went to the closet and pulled out a first aid kit. He pulled my arm so it laid straight and then proceeded to lift my sleeve, Exposing all the cuts and scars that were there. He looked like he was going to cry.

He went back to the closet grabbing a piece of cloth.

He grabbed peroxide and poured some on the cloth.

"Lovi, this might hurt a bit."

He dabbed the cloth on my cuts, I winced as it stung a bit. After that was done he began bandaging my arm. I felt him lay his head on my shoulder.

"Please don't do this again, Lovi."

"Why do you care so much?"

"I told you why…I Love You. So, Promise me you won't do this again?"

"Fine, I Promise."

"Thank you, Lovi."

My eyes widened before fluttering closed as he kissed me again. Once I realized what was happening, I kissed back. I blushed bright red as I felt his arms around my waist pulling me closer. He pulled away resting his forehead against mine.

"Lovino, I do mean it when I say I love you."

My heart started beating so fast that even Antonio could probably hear it.

"I know, you can stop saying it now."

"But I want to make sure you know."

I pushed him off gently when he tried kissing my cheek. I almost felt bad; He looked like a kicked puppy. I jumped down from the edge of the sink, pulling my sleeve down.

"Uhm…Lovi?"

"What?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

I turned away trying to hide my face that was probably now turning red from embarrassment.

"I…Yeah, sure I'll be your boyfriend."

"Really?"

I sighed, its amazing how much of an idiot he could be.

"I said yes, didn't I?"

"I'm so happy! Oh and Lovi?"

"Yeah?"

"You look just like a tomato!"

"Would you stop calling me a fucking tomato?"

"But Lovi your face is so red! You look just like a one!"

I sighed, this would be interesting. In the middle of my thoughts my stomach growled, most likely because I hadn't eaten in almost Two days. Antonio just laughed and led me back downstairs to the kitchen.

For the first time I talked to someone other than my brother, and for a little bit I forgot about the beatings, the cuts and Francis.

* * *

Before I even realized, it was dark. Antonio offered to drive me home. We pulled into the driveway of my house.

"Bye Lovi!"

He started pulling out of the driveway.

"Antonio!"

"Si?"

"I Love you too."

I turned around running to the front door and going inside.

I was greeted by the sight of broken wine bottles everywhere.

_Crap…_

"Well I see you're finally home."

"Yeah, I stopped somewhere before heading home."

"Liar."

I froze; I knew what would come next.

"You know Feli told me you didn't show up for school today."

* * *

_**Authors note**_

_**if anyone is out of character im sorry. also I know this is a short chapter and probably sucked real badly.**_

_**anyway sorry i haven't updated in awhile...no this story isn't over yet. I would never end it there.**_

_**Ciao~**_


	6. Chapter 6

** AUTHORS NOTE! PLEASE READ.**

Ciao~ I bet you thought this was an update. and I'm extremely sorry it isn't. I'm sorry for not updating for so long [ was having major writers block and would rather make a good chapter than force myself to write something and have it turn out really bad. ] now looking back on this story, I want to rewrite it. because I believe I could write much better than this now. I will be rewriting it and will re-upload it.


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